In the spring of 2018, two middle school students were suspended for fighting – a physical altercation that cost them the remainder of the school year. Because the boys had not seen each other since the suspension there hadn’t been an opportunity to work out their differences. Fast forward to the new school year; both students felt that the incident was hanging over their heads and were concerned about how this situation would affect the current school year. Since neither had a chance to apologize to anyone affected by their behavior they needed a supportive solution.
The Dispute Resolution Center conducted a restorative circle enabling both boys to take responsibility for their actions, see clearly how their behavior affected others, and to actively play a role in a plan to move forward in the future to be successful. The teens now have access to a healthy, productive method, within the school, for conflict resolution.
A grandmother was caring for three grandchildren, the youngest a toddler with special needs. She became overwhelmed and asked a state agency for assistance. Instead, the state sent the youngest to a foster home and the other two children to live with other relatives. The grandmother fought to retain her grandchildren. She maintained she could provide the family environment that a foster care environment couldn’t.
The Dispute Resolution Center was asked to mediate through its peacemaking initiative. The grandmother and prospective adoptive family met and, with the help of a trained mediator, discussed the best outcome for the child. They mutually agreed to that the grandmother would maintain a connection to the child while entering into a new family life. All parties were heard, shared their concerns and arrived at a mutually agreeable solution.
Two neighbors in a transitional housing community have been fighting over loud music, late night company and cigarette smoke. Rather than seeking each other out to “talk” about the issues, they have taken to complaining by banging on the walls, turning up the volume and yelling to “voice” their displeasure. Meanwhile, the housing management has made it clear that, if unresolved, each tenant will be removed, effectively making them homeless, again.
The neighbors met face-to-face in mediation facilitated by the Dispute Resolution Center. Both agree that they didn’t make any effort to talk things out. Through the model process, the issues were better defined allowing the neighbors to discuss their individual needs. Because they learned new information about each other, they were able to reach an agreement that satisfied both parties. They learned how to be civil, considerate community members.
A small local business was experiencing workplace conflict among the employees and between management and employees. The conflict had been going on for several months, and even as management made small organizational changes, nothing seemed to satisfy the staff. Within months, services were compromised, frequent clients began to complain and routine processes were coming undone. The managing staff decided that traditional disciplinary tactics would not be helpful. Instead they decided to try something new – use a restorative circle to create a safe space for all staff to talk and listen to each other. After careful planning, the circle ensued. All 30 plus staff members devoted a full day to establishing their values, reconnecting to the organization’s mission. The discussions were based on speaking openly and honestly, listening to each other’s concerns, acknowledging how each were being impacted by the changes and by the negative behaviors, taking responsibility for their role in the problems, and very importantly, determining how they would work together to make things right and improve the working environment. The session ended with written agreements on how to move forward. The day ended with a team building activity to bring levity to the space after a long and hard conversation.
The DRC offers the restorative service of Peacemaking to community members and organizations. This approach to problem solving very often leads to solutions to problems. And just a important, Peacemaking reminds us of the importance of relationships, mutual respect and taking responsibility.